It was a couple of days back when I suddenly stopped in my tracks and the weight on my chest seemed to be lighter. It was long overdue to say the least. Perhaps people out there who do not wish to bother others with their troubles can relate to this: we try to hold things inside. As much as we can. I know, it sucks. Studying about mental health awareness, I need to practice what I preach! Maybe something to add to the “work on it” list?

Coming back to my anecdote, I felt good. There was a calmness, an almost yellow-ish light expanding in my being. That’s when it hit me. Maybe it could have been because I had finally allowed myself to be a little selfish. I understand the humanistic implications along with what I said could form a paradox. I’m aware. What I’m beginning to understand though, is that life takes place in the paradox. We live in a constant irony. So I wanted to share with ya’ll what I earlier considered to be selfish wasn’t so. At all.

So for those of you, who wish to feel that yellow, warm light of peace, be a little selfish! Think about yourself too!  I’ll teach you how:

  • You do not have to kill your own desires to make someone else happy! There are times when we say yes to things simply because. What I want you to do instead is ask yourself: Is my heart in it? Or am I just trying to fulfil an illogical request stretching myself thin in the process?
  • You do not have to feel exploitative for requesting for resources from someone especially if you would have offered things for them in a heartbeat. You deserve genuine help as well!
  • You can physically move away from people who drain your energy. Seriously, just move away and breathe! Logically speaking the interaction wouldn’t have been this strenuous if there were two people working to keep it positive, right? You do not have to pick up the slack for someone else.
  • Take back the power some people could have over you. Especially if they’re yanking your chains. Trust me on this: your reaction is everything dude. It will take some practice ngl but stick to it. 
  • You can say no and establish boundaries! Kept the most cliched one for the last. The only people who might have a problem with you putting up walls are the ones who can not loot your mind palace anymore. Think about it. 

To be plain obtuse about it, being a bit selfish once in a while, especially after a burnout is plain self-love. Only thing I’d like to add to it is to remember people are complex individuals too and the world is not black and white. It thrives in shades of grey. Our goal, however, is to avoid the hues of blue. 

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